nut hugger
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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