I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
