girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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