4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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