i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can't talk, ducks in the car
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
