drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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