I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
