I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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