I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
