I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
