for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
