I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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