I only kidnapped one of them. chill
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize