brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
