I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
