Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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