I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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