Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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