It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
