What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My ass is underappreciated
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
