We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
