I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
birth control should be required to get into college
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We just shotgunned beers for America
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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