i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You pole danced in your parka.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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