what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dick very happy bro
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
