Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
