But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
