Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
