As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
