For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
