I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
