Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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