oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
