i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
