similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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