the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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