What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
