Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
