it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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