i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
