i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
