please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
