Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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