The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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