You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
