like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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