I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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