I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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