You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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