how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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