Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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