It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
