sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
