Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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