we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I checked into jail on foursquare
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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