Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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