I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
