My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
