and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
