I understand Curling. That high.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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