you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
