Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize