I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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