Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
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It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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