So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
