Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
two words: eviction party
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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