there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
